Something for The Weekend ( All Puns)

Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons.
The stewardess looks at them and says, “I’m sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger.

Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina.
One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor.
The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much.
The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocaine during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why?” they asked, as they moved off. “Because,” he said, “I can’t stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.”

This last one is my favourite 

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named “Amal.” The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him “Juan.” Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, “They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.”

Hat tip to Happy Catholic for these who recycled them from Coffee Klatch.


ConcordPastor said...

Roy Rogers had a new pair of cowboy boots made and they were his pride and joy. The first night he wore them they were stiff and he took them off while sitting on the front porch and left them there when he went to bed. During the night a mountain lion came and chewed the boots to shreds. Furious, Roy went out to hunt down the big cat and came home with it on his shoulders. Dale Evans met him at the door and said, "Pardon me, Roy - is that the cat who chewed your new shoes?"

Philomena Ewing said...

Hi Fr.Austin. I am delighted you paid another visit. Thanks for this addition. A bit more Lenten humour is much appreciated.

claire said...

Great stories and comment, Phil :-)