LOL Cat Bible: Lectionary Readings for Pentecost Sunday 2010

Pentecost relates the disciples being able to speak in many tongues.
But what about the cats who were in the room ?

It took me quite a while to "translate" this humorous cat speak for the Sunday readings. 

If you want the rest of the readings from the cat bible click here suitably named meeyauw blogspot
 Acts 2.1–21

Teh Hovr Cat Has Got To Teh Pennycots

1 Wen teh dai of teh Pennycots cam, dey wer togedder in won plays.
2 Den, holy moos, a sawnd lyk many kittehs yellin "MIAO!" cam frum teh ceiling and filld teh hawse wher teh d00ds wuz chillin.
3 Dey sawd lickys of fyre dat cam ovr ther heds and omg it burnz! it burnz! Oh wait, no it dont!

4 All of them d00ds wuz feelin' teh Hover Cat,
an dey all talkd in stranj LOLspeek lik:
"I do say sir, what have we got here? I do believe there
are tongues of fire-like substance coming upon our heads.
and making us speak in quite the funniest way."

Wtf iz wit dat? Cuz teh Hover Cat maed it happn, w00t!
5 Now teh d00ds wuz chillin in Jerooslum, Joos who feerd teh Ceiling Cat, frum evry nashun undur teh Ceiling, srsly.
6 Wen dey herd da sawnd, a litter caym and wer lyk, “No Wai!” cuz dey all talkd in weerd LOLspeeks.
7 Wow'd fer shur, dey axed,"Arnt deez teh d00ds who speekd Gallyleen bfor, watz happnin?

8 Den haw duz we heerz our naytiv LOLspeeks? Srsly!"
9 Angoras, an Manxs an Tabbies; an kittehs frum Persia an Abyssinia,
10 an Ejipt an teh partz of teh Burma neer Siam. Der were also kittehs frum resurch labz!

11 both teh Joos and da switchies two Joodyizm frum teh feilds an aleewaiz, herd dem,
"we heer dem myowin' teh 1ders ov teh Ceiling Cat in aur LOLspeeks!” WTF?

12 Wow'd and confoozd dey sez, "WAI DO THEY SPEEK DIS WAY?!?! WAI?"
13 And sum peepl LOL’d at dem and sed:
“Ya, rite. Dey nom too much gatorade, Srsly.”

Don wurry, Ceiling Cat pwnz dem peepl l8r. Kthx.

14 Den Peter stowd up wit teh eleven an sed to teh cwowd: "Oh hai!
15 Weez not drunk sillee! It be nine ay em, DO NOT WANT!
16 U know wut Joel teh profitz sez? Wel I tell yu:
17 'In teh last daiz, Ceiling Cat sez,
Im in ur urthz, puurin teh spiritz on all kittehs,
Ur suns and doters can has profisies,
Ur yung kittehs can has fun time in teh eyez!
Ur old kittehs can has fun time in teh branez!

18 Yo!
I can has be puttin my spiritz on even teh servents! RLY!
And dey can has profisies.
19 Iz gunna show u all ov teh fun stuffs up in teh Ceilin, srsly.
Oh! Yeh! Iz almos can has no memowies. Iz awso gunna show fun stuffz on teh urthz.

Oh wate, dos not fun! Urthz can has firez an smoke. Kawf! Kawf! DO NOT WANT!

20 Teh big day staw, no moar!
An teh moon can has be all blud and stuffz. Yuk!
but den Jeebus can has be back! Yayz!
21 An evewywun who be like "Jeebus!" can has cheezburger! Rly !!

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